Lent Let Downs

Sigh....We are almost half-way through Lent.  It has not been at all what I thought it would be!
 
I must admit, I had dreams of conquering Lent.  Despite the advice to take it easy, I was going to be at EVERY SINGLE SERVICE!  I just knew I could do it.  I'm super mom right?

Yeah, about that....

I was beat down by the first service.
 
The Canon of St. Andrew.  (not cannon)

It's about 2 hours long. 

Did I mention that Josh was working each night of the services the first week?  So it would be me and the kids by ourselves (and all the wonderful and helpful people at church). 

What was I thinking?  Keeping a 1 and 2 year old happy for that long?  I finally heeded the advice and decided to take Tuesday night off.

The Presanctified Liturgy went well. It was neat to see the transformation of the Liturgy.  I couldn't help but look up when we were supposed to be prostrating so I could see what Father was doing.  I LOVE all the added symbolism!  Plus, I knew there was food afterwards, who doesn't love a good church meal?! 

Then the next glitch, family in town.  Not exactly the type of service (The Canon of St. Andrew) you want to bring your non-Orthodox family to visit.  It's a great service, but it is intended for those participating in Lent and would mean very little to those who are not.

Now Josh and I are going out of town.  We are able to catch an Akathist at a Greek church in Charlotte.  It was beautiful.  We were alone... it was quiet!  The Priest was so kind and had such thought provoking words to share after the prayers. We missed the Sunday of Orthodoxy service, I was very sad about that.  It's a good thing it happens again next year!
Though it is the Lent season, Josh and I were celebrating our Anniversary, so now it was party time!  We had a blast celebrating, but it was very hard coming back and entering back in to the solemn attitude of Lent.  On top of that, I got sick....no services for me.

Then comes Protestant Easter.  Do what?  We're celebrating Easter, but not really.  I just got so mentally and spiritually confused!  How can I be happy about the Resurrection when I am just beginning the journey leading up to His death? 

Now the kids are starting to get sick.  My family RARELY gets sick, and of course, it happens during Lent, the time that I am trying to go to church as much a possible to learn about this Lent thing.

Then I get frustrated about the way I spend my time.  Since my meals are simple, I don't have as much prep time, so sometimes I even have a moment to myself.  Do I think first to spend that time in prayer or reading the Bible?  Nope.  Reading a book or to Facebook I go.  It's not until the time is up and it's time for a chore that I remember, duh!  I should have been praying!

Some of my meals are getting a little bit boring to me.  Repeating the same meals week after week does little for my pallet, but I think that's part of the point.  I don't plan to change the meals, I want to learn to deal with the monotony and focus more on Christ.  It could be much worse.

And then there is tonight, I got all dressed and showered (a rarity for me home without a spouse), only to have two sick children after naptime.

Sigh....

No Akathist for us.

I didn't pout. 

But I have been put in my place.  Humility....it's one of the first things we are supposed to be working on.  Apparently I needed a lot of practice with that one.

I am accepting the fact that I can't make it to every service and am thankful that there are people at church praying for me.  I am learning to be thankful for the opportunities that I do have to worship with my church family and to pray at home. I'm not perfect and I can't do it all. It's a good thing this will all happen again next year, and the year after, and the year after, etc.
 
Sunday marks the half-way point.  Amazing.  The Priest in Charlotte asked us rhetorically how our first week of Lent had gone.  He acknowledged that we might have made some mistakes, missed services, forgot about fasting, etc.  He also told us not to stress about it.  Pick up and move on to the next day and start all over again.  So that's what I plan to do.  Even if Lent isn't going the way I envisioned, each day is a new start!