Picking back up

We survived our first Lent.  All of my grand dreams of blogging through the 40+ days obviously didn't pan out. Life is settling now after Pascha, a long string of birthday celebrations, school and illnesses.
 
I had always seen myself as someone who was pretty active in church life when we were Protestant.  I mean, we were there pretty much every time the doors were open.  I taught Sunday School, I mean, come on, I even came regularly on Wednesday nights.

Yeah, that's nothing compared to Orthodoxy.  Orthodoxy is life. I'm not saying that Protestant Christianity is not.  Orthodoxy just takes things to the next level.  Not only am I at church all the time (one of our Deacons' sons was challenged by his friends, surely he couldn't be going to church yet again!), but I am also changing the way I eat, pray, and think about everything. 

And I can't keep up.


And that's OK.

At our last women's meeting we started with a devotional thought out of Hebrews 12.  The speaker shared how the author is telling us to run the race with endurance.  It's not a sprint, it's a Marathon.  If we try to sprint we'll run out of steam.  Not only do we need to stay at a good steady pace, we need to seek regular hydration through coming to services and refueling.  We keep chugging along, at every stage of life, and we don't stop until Jesus calls us home. 

That's such a 360 from my previous mindset of our Christian life as a series of Mountains and Valleys.  There were times where I was sprinting hard and fast, basking in the moment, only to trip up and fall in a low valley only to come up with the next spiritual high.  It was hard.  I never felt like I was performing well enough.  I was never reading/praying/studying enough and if someone else had some great spiritual thought in class and I didn't, I was obviously lacking in something. 

I felt myself coming back to this place at the end of Lent, entering the Paschal season.  Lent is hard, by Holy Week I was so consumed with the services, the thought of coming home and reading yet even more scripture on my own was over the top. 

Then, we hit Pascha and all of the sudden there is no fasting and shorter prayers.

Is this really allowed?  Aren't we cheating some how? 

Absolutely not.  The church Fathers, in their wisdom, have arranged our church calendar to keep us at a steady pace, to give a challenge when we need a push and a rest when we need a break, and that's OK.  Keep it steady, just keep chugging along.

We have now experienced a full church year in services.  I have seen the patterns and am learning the pace.  I realize that there are some things I just can't do as the mother of 5 young children.  They will grow older and we will be able to do more.  I am still so thankful for the amount of help everyone so willingly gives while we are at church.  And it's not just my family. We are all working together to help our children grow.

My children amaze me at how much they are growing and changing through this time.  My sweet Julianna, who can barely talk, mumbles through the song "Christ is risen from the dead."  Sydney insists on lighting candles and "reading" through service books, and of course, she lights up like she's meeting Santa at the sight of Father Nicholas.  They have quite the friendship (of course, the jelly beans from his office don't hurt either).  My big girls, Makayla and Caroline spend their free time writing prayers.  They are developing some wonderful friendships and church and are disappointed when we have to miss a service. 

I am blessed. 

I am learning the pace and am chugging along.