Tending the Garden of Our Hearts Review

To begin my review, I feel like I should share a little about our family.  I have 6 daughters ages 13,12,9,8,7 and 3. I was hesitant to get this book because I was afraid it was going to make me feel inadequate, one more holy thing I should be doing for my kids during Lent. But I was pleasantly surprised that the readings did not seem too daunting.  I listened to the book in several different situations in order to get a good feel for how I would use it during Lent. I listened to the majority of the book on my own, sometimes out loud. My kids would sometimes stop and listen and even ask questions afterwards. My 8 year old made me pull up videos of the Holy Fire. 

The car ended up being the best place for listening!  The kids were already seated and were a captive audience.  My 12 and 13 year olds said that they enjoyed the reading and were able to answer the questions at the end.  They said that they didn’t mind listening. “It wasn’t bad,” was their very descriptive response. I also had my 9,8,7 and 3 year olds listen in the car.  My 9 and 8 year old were able to follow along pretty well, my 7 year old had a little more trouble paying attention. My 3 year old played, but she obviously heard some of it because she proudly answer “Jesus!” to all the questions.  I was surprised when my 9,8, and 7 year old were also able to answer the questions. My kids really enjoy listening to books during car trips, so this will be a great addition for Lent. Also, having something to listen too just feels easier than having to sit down and read something out loud.  I like easy!

One surprise of the book was that I really enjoyed it just for myself. It was very pleasant to listen too and the readings each day were just enough to help get me focused on Christ and feel more empowered to guide my children through Lent.  I also really enjoyed the ideas for each week at the end of the book. The ideas were so simple, you don’t have to be a Pinterest Queen to be able to do them with your children. Many of them I am looking forward to doing with my kids each Lent.  I love that the authors provide many different ideas, so if one doesn’t sound like it would work for the family, there are still other ideas to choose from.  

My only complaints have nothing to do with the book itself, but with Audible. There are no written chapter titles.  So while I knew what number chapter I was listening to, I couldn’t just look and click on Week 3 Monday. It would also be nice to have titles for the Appendix section so that I would know where to click to get the ideas for each week.  I’m sure I can do the math and count, but it would still be nice to have things labeled. But like I said, that’s an Audible thing and has nothing to do with the authors.

Overall I thought this was a great book.  I learned so many things that I didn’t know (I joined the Orthodox church 7 years ago).  I look forward to having this tool in my mom tool belt each year for Lent!

I received a free copy of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

Picking back up

We survived our first Lent.  All of my grand dreams of blogging through the 40+ days obviously didn't pan out. Life is settling now after Pascha, a long string of birthday celebrations, school and illnesses.
 
I had always seen myself as someone who was pretty active in church life when we were Protestant.  I mean, we were there pretty much every time the doors were open.  I taught Sunday School, I mean, come on, I even came regularly on Wednesday nights.

Yeah, that's nothing compared to Orthodoxy.  Orthodoxy is life. I'm not saying that Protestant Christianity is not.  Orthodoxy just takes things to the next level.  Not only am I at church all the time (one of our Deacons' sons was challenged by his friends, surely he couldn't be going to church yet again!), but I am also changing the way I eat, pray, and think about everything. 

And I can't keep up.


And that's OK.

At our last women's meeting we started with a devotional thought out of Hebrews 12.  The speaker shared how the author is telling us to run the race with endurance.  It's not a sprint, it's a Marathon.  If we try to sprint we'll run out of steam.  Not only do we need to stay at a good steady pace, we need to seek regular hydration through coming to services and refueling.  We keep chugging along, at every stage of life, and we don't stop until Jesus calls us home. 

That's such a 360 from my previous mindset of our Christian life as a series of Mountains and Valleys.  There were times where I was sprinting hard and fast, basking in the moment, only to trip up and fall in a low valley only to come up with the next spiritual high.  It was hard.  I never felt like I was performing well enough.  I was never reading/praying/studying enough and if someone else had some great spiritual thought in class and I didn't, I was obviously lacking in something. 

I felt myself coming back to this place at the end of Lent, entering the Paschal season.  Lent is hard, by Holy Week I was so consumed with the services, the thought of coming home and reading yet even more scripture on my own was over the top. 

Then, we hit Pascha and all of the sudden there is no fasting and shorter prayers.

Is this really allowed?  Aren't we cheating some how? 

Absolutely not.  The church Fathers, in their wisdom, have arranged our church calendar to keep us at a steady pace, to give a challenge when we need a push and a rest when we need a break, and that's OK.  Keep it steady, just keep chugging along.

We have now experienced a full church year in services.  I have seen the patterns and am learning the pace.  I realize that there are some things I just can't do as the mother of 5 young children.  They will grow older and we will be able to do more.  I am still so thankful for the amount of help everyone so willingly gives while we are at church.  And it's not just my family. We are all working together to help our children grow.

My children amaze me at how much they are growing and changing through this time.  My sweet Julianna, who can barely talk, mumbles through the song "Christ is risen from the dead."  Sydney insists on lighting candles and "reading" through service books, and of course, she lights up like she's meeting Santa at the sight of Father Nicholas.  They have quite the friendship (of course, the jelly beans from his office don't hurt either).  My big girls, Makayla and Caroline spend their free time writing prayers.  They are developing some wonderful friendships and church and are disappointed when we have to miss a service. 

I am blessed. 

I am learning the pace and am chugging along.

Lent Let Downs

Sigh....We are almost half-way through Lent.  It has not been at all what I thought it would be!
 
I must admit, I had dreams of conquering Lent.  Despite the advice to take it easy, I was going to be at EVERY SINGLE SERVICE!  I just knew I could do it.  I'm super mom right?

Yeah, about that....

I was beat down by the first service.
 
The Canon of St. Andrew.  (not cannon)

It's about 2 hours long. 

Did I mention that Josh was working each night of the services the first week?  So it would be me and the kids by ourselves (and all the wonderful and helpful people at church). 

What was I thinking?  Keeping a 1 and 2 year old happy for that long?  I finally heeded the advice and decided to take Tuesday night off.

The Presanctified Liturgy went well. It was neat to see the transformation of the Liturgy.  I couldn't help but look up when we were supposed to be prostrating so I could see what Father was doing.  I LOVE all the added symbolism!  Plus, I knew there was food afterwards, who doesn't love a good church meal?! 

Then the next glitch, family in town.  Not exactly the type of service (The Canon of St. Andrew) you want to bring your non-Orthodox family to visit.  It's a great service, but it is intended for those participating in Lent and would mean very little to those who are not.

Now Josh and I are going out of town.  We are able to catch an Akathist at a Greek church in Charlotte.  It was beautiful.  We were alone... it was quiet!  The Priest was so kind and had such thought provoking words to share after the prayers. We missed the Sunday of Orthodoxy service, I was very sad about that.  It's a good thing it happens again next year!
Though it is the Lent season, Josh and I were celebrating our Anniversary, so now it was party time!  We had a blast celebrating, but it was very hard coming back and entering back in to the solemn attitude of Lent.  On top of that, I got sick....no services for me.

Then comes Protestant Easter.  Do what?  We're celebrating Easter, but not really.  I just got so mentally and spiritually confused!  How can I be happy about the Resurrection when I am just beginning the journey leading up to His death? 

Now the kids are starting to get sick.  My family RARELY gets sick, and of course, it happens during Lent, the time that I am trying to go to church as much a possible to learn about this Lent thing.

Then I get frustrated about the way I spend my time.  Since my meals are simple, I don't have as much prep time, so sometimes I even have a moment to myself.  Do I think first to spend that time in prayer or reading the Bible?  Nope.  Reading a book or to Facebook I go.  It's not until the time is up and it's time for a chore that I remember, duh!  I should have been praying!

Some of my meals are getting a little bit boring to me.  Repeating the same meals week after week does little for my pallet, but I think that's part of the point.  I don't plan to change the meals, I want to learn to deal with the monotony and focus more on Christ.  It could be much worse.

And then there is tonight, I got all dressed and showered (a rarity for me home without a spouse), only to have two sick children after naptime.

Sigh....

No Akathist for us.

I didn't pout. 

But I have been put in my place.  Humility....it's one of the first things we are supposed to be working on.  Apparently I needed a lot of practice with that one.

I am accepting the fact that I can't make it to every service and am thankful that there are people at church praying for me.  I am learning to be thankful for the opportunities that I do have to worship with my church family and to pray at home. I'm not perfect and I can't do it all. It's a good thing this will all happen again next year, and the year after, and the year after, etc.
 
Sunday marks the half-way point.  Amazing.  The Priest in Charlotte asked us rhetorically how our first week of Lent had gone.  He acknowledged that we might have made some mistakes, missed services, forgot about fasting, etc.  He also told us not to stress about it.  Pick up and move on to the next day and start all over again.  So that's what I plan to do.  Even if Lent isn't going the way I envisioned, each day is a new start!

Meatfare: The Sunday of the Last Judgment

Photo Credit

 

 

When I think of the Last Judgment, the first thing that comes to my mind is lots of fire and torment.  I imagine an angry God casting people to hell.  Imagine my confusion as the focus of today's Sunday school class and sermon is Love. How can those two concepts, judgment and love, possibly coincide?  Can you really say them in the same sentence?  Apparently you can. 

 

Our Gospel reading today comes from the book of Matthew chapter 25 verses 31-46.  In this passage Jesus explains the final judgement.  He will separate the sheep and the goats.  He talks of how the "sheep" fed the hungry, gave drink to the thirsty, took in strangers, clothed, and visited the sick and those in prison.  Confused, the righteous ask how they could have possibly done all of these things to Christ Himself.  To which He further explains that "inasmuch as you did it to the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me." (verse 40).  He also goes on to tell the "goats" that because they did not do these things they will go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into eternal life. 

 

So when we are considering the Last Judgment and what criteria are used, Alexander Schmemann, in his book Great Lent, says the criterion is this,

 "The parable answers: love- not a mere humanitarian concern for abstract justice and the anonymous "poor,"  but concrete and personal love for the human person, any human person, that God makes me encounter in my life.  This distinction is important because today more and more Christians tend to identify Christian love with political, economic, and social concerns; in other words, they shift from the unique personal destiny, to anonymous entities such as "class," "race," etc."

 

At this point in our pre-Lenten journey we have been guiding our hearts to be more humble and repentant.  It is now at this point, laying the selfishness aside that we can turn our hearts towards Love.  Once we get "ourselves" out of the way, then we can truly look to the needs of others and act lovingly.    It is no accident that our journey is placed in this order.  Today, Meatfare Sunday,  also marks the last day we eat meat until Pascha.  Vassilios Papavassilou points out in his book Meditations for Great Lent, "We abstain from food not simply as an exercise in ascesis, sobriety and self-control, but out of love for others."  He goes on to give an example of how we have budgeted a certain amount of food for ourselves, but by fasting we have extra money leftover.  Instead of spending that money on ourselves, we give that excess in alms, to those who have no food. 

 

This is not merely a time of solitude in a spiritual journey, but a time where all of our efforts should not be just for ourselves, but for the love of others.  Fasting has no point at all if we are not learning to love others in the process.  Schmemann also states that,

"Christian love is the 'possible impossibility' to see Christ in another man, whoever he is, and whom God, in His eternal and mysterious plan, has decided to introduce into my life, be it only for a few moments, not as an occasion for a 'good deed' or an exercise in philanthropy, but as the beginning of an eternal companionship in God Himself." 

Am I really thinking eternally when I serve others?  Or is it just a momentary mindset where I segment my acts of service from my family life, my work life and even my free time.  This is not just a Lenten idea here.  This not something that I can make a priority in my life for the meager period of 40 days and hope to have pleased God.  This is an eternal commitment and an "about face" change of attitude than can only spawn from an intentional beginning.  Do I really Love  others, the way that God wants me to love them?  It's not our choice who we are going to love and how much.  Christ lays His directions out for us.   Papavassilou  explains, "We will be judged above all by our love--real, practical love--a love that is manifest in deeds and in sacrifice, not a timid, cowardly love that never dares to take a step beyond feelings and sentimentality."

 

There is only one more week until the official beginning of the Lent season.  With as thought provoking as the past three weeks have been, I can only imagine what is headed my way.  I have finally gotten over the mental stress of "what are we going to eat if we can't have meat," to a better understanding that it's not about the food.  I'm actually looking forward to having a simple meal plan for a while and being able to dedicate my time on things that matter more, like prayer and service.  I am really looking forward to seeing what God has in store for me during this time. 

 

I will leave you with one final thought from Alexandar Schmemann,

"And, finally, we know that however narrow and limited the framework of our personal existence, each one of us has been made responsible for a tiny part of the Kingdom of God, made responsible by that very gift of Christ's love.  Thus on whether or not we have accepted this responsibility, on whether we have loved or refused to love, shall we be judged.  For 'inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, you have done it unto Me...'"

Saturday of Souls

The Orthodox view of the dead is somewhat different than that of the Protestant.  I think we would all agree with Hebrews and it's mention of the "great cloud of witnesses."  I would say Orthodoxy takes that verse very literally.  When a faithful Christian dies, they do not cease to be part of the Kingdom or active in His Church.   They are just serving in a different role.

We have memorial services as a church for our dead family members quite often.  It is typical to have a service on the 3rd, 9th, 40th and annual anniversaries.  Typically this service is performed at the end of a Sunday Divine Liturgy.   We pray to God for their souls and for their family left behind. 

Alexandar Schmemann puts it well in his book Great Lent,

"Praying for them we meet them in Christ who is Love and who, because He is Love, overcomes death which is the ultimate victory of separation and lovelessness.  In Christ there is no difference between the living and dead because all are alive in Him." 

During the Triodion period (those times preparing and including Lent) there are several services called "Saturday of Souls." Instead of honoring someone who has passed recently or on an anniversary, we take time before and during Lent to remember all of those who have passed.  This Saturday was the first.  We had a Liturgy service in which our chanting and songs included lots of thoughts on those who had passed on.  At the end of the Liturgy we had the memorial service.

 



This is our Priest, Deacon and Subdeacon standing around the Kollyva, saying prayers.

 



Here the Priest is praying specifically for the reposed.  In his booklet he has list after list of names that have been submitted to be prayed for.  You can see the Kollyva better in this picture.  The picture looks blurry because of all the incense :)

 



 

 

After the service we all went to the Parish Hall to eat our Kollyva, which is a type of cake made out of boiled wheat berries. 

 

 

It was so sweet in the car after services.  I was taking some time to explain to the girls exactly what our service was about.  Luckily they have picked up on the meaning with all of the memorial services that we have had in our time as Orthodox Christians.  Makayla shared how John (our godfather) had talked with her about how to pray for the dead. Then she also mentioned that when Father was praying for each person, that she prayed for her great-grandpa too!  She's never even met him!  But she knew he was family and wanted him to be prayed for.  It still amazes me how much my kiddos pick up without me knowing it!